Natalie Stokell about the power of our brainMar 17, 2021
I met Natalie in the «Lucky Bitch Money Boot Camp». She owns «F-BOMB AFFIRMATIONS» and is the author of the book of the same title. Natalie is a powerful woman full of wisdom and sparkles. She decided early on that she didn’t want to be the “nice girl” any more, instead she wanted to live her life to the fullest according to HER wants and needs. Natalie‘s field is the power of our brain and it‘s so interesting to hear her talk about the connection between neuroscience and «woo-woo». Let‘s dive right in!
Natalie lives on the sunshine coast in Australia with her family. Through her work she helps people to challenge and change their thoughts, so that they can start creating the life that they really want. And they can begin to live by design, rather than default
«I‘m really passionate about where neuroscience and "woo-woo" intersect», Natalie
Natalie‘s book «F-Bomb Affirmations» is divided into two parts, the first part is about the neuroscience behind mindset and affirmations, the second part is a deep dive into five affirmation hacks. One of the hacks is how adding an f-bomb to your affirmations upercharges them. You‘re wondering what that is? I‘ll let Natalie explain in the episode, and you can be sure that there will be some swearing. (I love swearing myself!)
Natalie explains that emotions indicate significance to our brain. When we‘re feeling something emotional, our brain takes note! Our brain is designed to survive, and its job is to gather information and to make decisions about our future based on the information it gathers. E.g. Do we want more of this or do we want less of it? Is this of benefit to our survival or is it a threat to our survival? When we feel strong emotion, it indicates to the brain that something significant is going on, that it is something the brain needs to take note of and remember, so when we add emotion to our affirmations, it helps us to rewire our brain with the new beliefs and thoughts we are desiring to have. That's why adding an f-bomb is so powerful within an affirmation.
What brings Natalie joy?
«Self-expression, creativity, chocolate and gin, dancing… these things feel high vibe to me. And it’s so important to actually do the things that make you feel good. Not just talk about doing them», Natalie answers. «I am an introvert, but I really like to be social and have fun. My joy is often based around self-expression, and expressing my self to my fullest, whatever that looks like».
Music is also an important part in Natalie‘s life and she uses different playlists that relate to different things, to consciously create joy. «Everyone’s got access to music, you can put your headphones on, close your eyes and be transported to wherever the music takes you, that’s a really quick way to get into a state of joy».
How was F-BOMB AFFIRMATIONS created?
Natalie was raised to be a “nice girl” but eventually realized, that a lot of the “nice girl”conditioning didn‘t serve her. «Of course I want to be kind and considerate to others, but not at the expense of my own needs». In her teens she started looking for tools to unravel some of the nice girl conditioning. The biggest strategy Natalie found was to get in touch with her fierce feminine power. «When I became a mother, that really helped me to get in touch with my fierce feminine, especially going through the process of birthing my children, I was loud, I was messy, I was very vocal, I wasn‘t a “nice girl”».
«”Nice girls” don‘t swear, but swearing is super powerful», Natalie
Natalie created affirmation playlists on spotify and later discovered that she had over 200‘000 plays. That‘s when she decided to write a book, about the importance of adding some emotions to your affirmations. «There is research on what swearing does in your brain, it uses more than just the language center, it uses the emotional center. The power of swearing is pretty amazing. When we add a swear word, we bring the whole collective energy of the swear word into that affirmation which makes it so much more powerful».
«Our brains are amazing but they’re so busy. When you really understand the power of your brain you can start to make changes in your life. You can be an active co creator of you life rather than just being a passive passenger with your brain doing the driving». Natalie works with affirmations at the level of belief, not just level of the the thoughts. Beneath our thoughts are our beliefs and it’s our beliefs that are actually responsible for our thoughts.
Let‘s break down an example
We chose two examples: «I am rich» and «I am taken care of», to show how Natalie works with affirmations.
- Firstly you want to reveal the limiting subconscious beliefs underneath the thought
- An easy way to do this is simply to ask your subconscious with free writing:
You write «it is not possible to be rich because…» or «it‘s not possible to feel taken care of, because…» and you let everything come out: Why it‘s not possible for you, why it‘s not safe for you, why you‘re not worthy of it. Often just recognizing the belief brings you half-way there.
- Then you create an affirmation to counter your belief about why it‘s not possible. For example perhaps you uncovered a belief that you feel it’s not possible for your to be rich because you don’t work hard enough. You could create an affirmation “Money comes to me no matter what I do”. Or perhaps you uncovered a belief that being taken care of doesn’t feel safe because you fear that someone will leave you, so you could create an affirmation “It is safe for me to trust people to take care of me”.
- In working with the affirmations at the level of the underlying beliefs you are changing the beliefs that are not in alignment with your desires “to be rich” or “to be taken care of”. And once you are back in alignment with your desires on the level of belief, then your thoughts are much more receptive to changing to ones that support your desires.
It's important that you keep it simple, you just write whatever comes to mind. Don‘t censor what you write and keep writing, don‘t consciously think about it too much.
You can also ask yourself some questions, that tease out what‘s going on underneath that belief: Is this true? What am I making it mean? How would it feel to not have this belief?
When you have affirmations for your goals, the best thing is to work with them daily. This brings your goals into the realm of ‘familiar and known’, you‘re moving the goal from the realms of ‘unknown and unfamiliar’, which your brain perceives as a threat. And that which your brain perceives as a threat is something it wants to avoid!
How does Natalie use affirmations in her every day life?
● Daily journaling practice, where Natalie writes out her goals and her affirmations
● Listen to affirmations on audio, often while exercising - our brain creates endorphins, when we exercise, this helps our brain to rewire
● Reminders on a post-it notes or on her phone
● Habit stacking – doing affirmations with something else that you do daily like brushing your teeth, is an effective way of using new affirmations
● Mirror-work – addressing yourself in the mirror with affirmations
Natalie changes the affirmations in her journal every few months, «it‘s a great way to see how I‘m progressing, how I‘m changing and how the affirmations are changing».
The magic happens between the gap of where we are and where we want to be. This is where we are able to change the story and the limiting beliefs and start programming and rewiring our brain.
Another thing Natalie talks about is the importance of choosing which people to follow on Social Media, choosing people that are affirming and inspiring. «The content that we consume needs to be nourishing. Is it nourishing, is it healthy, is it good? It is so important to be really conscious about our social media habits». Natalie says that Instagram is designed by psychologists that specialise in gambling and addiction. It is designed to keep us on the app as long as possible.. Natalie has a great tip for this: When she likes to follow someone, she doesn‘t do it immediately, but saves a post from that person into a file that is called «curious». After some time she checks back to see if she still wants to follow that person or if she was just curious and following them isn‘t going to be nourishing. «Be as conscious as you can of all the ways that you‘ve been programmed and start consciously programming your brain so it’s working in your favour».
«If we keep thinking the same thoughts, we‘re going to get the same results», Natalie
«When we work with the power of our mind to change our thoughts, we are ultimately going to change our life», Natalie
«The more we can understand how powerful our brains are, the more power we have to change our lives», Natalie
We also talk about the lyrics in music, because it happened to me that I really liked a song but didn‘t want to hear it anymore, when I understood the lyrics, which I didn‘t like. Natalie has different playlists: Some songs are for the words only and some are for the feeling or the vibration of the song. «I believe that the vibration can override the words», Natalie explains. «In terms of the hierarchy of the brain, feelings and emotions come from an older part of our brain, and this part is more dominant than the newer ‘thinking’ parts of our brain. This is why it is so important to be aware of the power of your feelings».
Natalie says, that there are so many benefits to feeling your feelings. When we‘re triggered or activated by something, it‘s an indication, that something within us is out of alignment or needs healing or resolving. «The most important thing is to not squash your feelings down. I allow the feelings, but I try not to get too into my head about them, I‘m a recovering overthinker».
What is your message to the world?
“My message to the world is, that you have a really, really powerful tool that will help you create the life that you really truly want, and you‘re so worthy, just the way you are, of the life you truly desire. The tool that you have, that will help you, is your brain and the more you can start tapping into its power and working with it, and alongside it, rather than just letting it do its thing, then the more you can really create the life that you desire and that you‘re so worthy of having”.
So good! This wraps up an awesome and very inspiring talk and I hope that you will take as much from it as I did.
This is where you can connect with Natalie:
Natalie‘s book: https://www.fbombaffirmations.com/buy-the-book-1/f-bomb-affirmations-the-book
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