Ena Bautista about the importance of asking for helpMay 12, 2021
I met Ena Bautista in a Social Media course and I’m super stoked to share our conversation with you! Ena grew up in Bosnia where she experienced war with her family. Ena was able to overcome this trauma and helps women today as a mindset coach. In 2020 Ena suffered from the leftovers of postnatal depression but also found her passion for creating art with resin. Our conversation is directly out of life, with its lows and highs and it’s really inspiring to hear Ena’s story and how she got where she is today. Let’s dive right into it.
Ena describes herself as a mum, creative, wife and a mindset and business coach: «I help women unleash their unstoppable self».
Ena enjoys spending time with her little son especially since she didn’t spend much time being a child during her own childhood: «I’ve learned to have fun that I haven’t known before». Spending time with her child lets her pick up her own memories that she should have had but didn’t. «I allow myself to experience that through him».
Ena remembers that she first doubted if she could even be a good and fun mum. «It has forced me in a way to work on myself and to get rid of those perceptions that I had about myself», she says.
When lockdown got to her, she discovered the joy in gardening. «I needed to find something that helped me keep going through that, it has helped me and my son bond, explore the nature, I’ve learned so much about gardening…»
«I’ve done a lot of things for the first time», Ena
In the podcast video Ena shows some of her art that she has created, (make sure to check it out here https://enacreates.com/ : )).
Ena says that she started questioning a lot of preconceived ideas that she had, especially with creativeness and gardening. She told herself: «You know what, I’ve been telling myself this thing my entire life, that I’m something, how about if I flip it on its head and what if I’m not. What if this is not true, what if I can do it? You tell yourself you can’t do this, well what if you can? And then you just try from there and all of a sudden you have a new skill».
«I’m not good at this, but how about I just try!», Ena
Ena enjoys dancing, when everything is a little too much, she puts on noise cancelling headphones and jumps around. She also likes going for a walk: «When I allow myself to release all the thoughts, a lot of new inspired ideas come from that. It’s joy in a calming and relaxing way».
Ena says that she was bitter and held a grudge and resentment towards the experiences that she had gone through until she started opening up and exploring, asking herself what makes her happy. «I think a lot of us don’t dig deep to find out what brings us joy, what makes us happy, what we enjoy doing. We just get stuck in a rut with business, with a job, with family and spend very little time finding out what we enjoy».
«You have to start doing things so that you find something that gives you joy», Ena
When you start doing more of those things that give you pleasure, that make you happy, the fun things, then the difficult bits don’t feel so difficult.
«Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being unhappy and miserable and not enjoying the things that bring you pleasure», Ena
We talk about being told that you’ll be judged when you’re too playful and how – when you ignore this – life is so much more enjoyable!
What do you tell your clients if they say: «What will others say»?
Ena says that they try to figure out, why they have the need to feel like everybody has to like them.
«I cannot tell you what to do, but I can help you uncover what’s behind that belief. Why you have the need for everyone to like you. From there we will release negative emotions and establish some new helpful habits. Definitely working on the belief. A lot of people won’t establish boundaries and won’t say no because mostly they are scared of what other people think. They are afraid that if they say no, the other people will be unhappy and then they’re a bad person», Ena explains.
«You being happy is the priority, because you are more of service when you are happy and taking care of yourself», Ronja
Ena adds that a lot of it comes down to value ourselves, that a lot of women devalue themselves.
«There is no competition, there is just collaboration», Ena
How did you get to that point of view?
Ena answers that the more she was dealing with her limiting beliefs from childhood she found that as you’re growing up, there is always this competition between women, the jealousy, the envy and eventually realized, that it’s not about the competition.
«I think it came from appreciating my own gifts, my zone of genius, learning to love myself as I am, I think that’s it. When you start loving yourself and appreciating and really being aware of all the gifts that you have, then you become more aware that others will have different gifts. It’s not about "is she better than me”, is the other person better than me or am I better”, it’s not about “I’m going to top you or you’re going to top me”, it’s being surrounded by other women and seeing how often they do the same thing but that you’ll connect to one coach or one person much easier than the other person. It’s just understanding that personal energy more than before».
I think that is so true. It’s really astonishing and sometimes also annoying if you hear the same thing all over again from different people but only when you hear it from THAT particular person it suddenly makes you click! : )
Ena says that if you’re in a bad place, try to look for information to get you out of there, try to ask for help wherever you can at the local services, reach out to people! During the lockdown in 2020, Ena suffered from leftovers of a postnatal depression. «It was difficult for me, to tune into something positive», she explains.
«When I was at the deepest, at the most difficult, I tried to focus on those little things that I could do and that got me through it», Ena
Ena went to a therapist, because she realized that she couldn’t handle it on her own anymore. She reached out to people in her online community. She says, «When you’re feeling low, when you’re really in the depths of it and you want to do everything to change your situation, when you don’t know where is the end, then ask yourself: "What is my next step?».
«I want to help people find the next step and go for whatever they desire», Ena
Yes! It’s so important to know what you want and where you want to go and then you can take one step after the other, no matter how small they are!
Ena explains how she got out of her misery last year. She asked herself the following questions:
What can I do so I stop feeling this way?
What can I do to not go through these emotions every single day?
How can I move a little forward step by step?
Ena also tells how she first delayed going to a therapist, because she was afraid to admit that she needed help. Being a mindset coach herself, Ena thought that she should be able to solve it herself. «That’s one of the struggles I had in my past. I had always relied on myself and it felt like admitting defeat, but it actually wasn’t. It was actually the first step forward». Ena adds: «I had all the techniques, but it’s not the same. You can’t see 360, you cannot recognize your own patterns until you work with someone and they just say «maybe you should try this» and it suddenly clicks».
I always invest in coaches, because they have the thing that I want to achieve, they have the overview and can suggest you go paths that you couldn’t think of yourself.
«We all use different approaches, different techniques», Ena
Ena says that in her work she combines different techniques like NLP and energetic breakthrough method. «Some clients aren’t into spirituality but need something more logical for their brain, it’s a no-brainer for me to implement that as well».
Before I became a coach, I did a lot of courses and seminars for myself, so in the last 5 years I learned a lot and now it’s just so cool to have a toolbox of different things at hand.
«Not everything will work for everyone, not all approaches will be good for everyone. Being able to adopt my coaching to my clients is very important for me», Ena
«If you regard it as a failure, you’re not going to learn a lesson out of it», Ena
Ena talks about a course that she did last year and that just didn’t work for her, but it was another reminder that: «Before you make a decision you have to figure out, “does this feel right for me?” The reasons why you’re joining a program, or a course, it needs to be for the right reasons».
We come back to the question, how Ena creates joy in her everyday life.
«I think it’s about finding even the smallest things that bring you joy», Ena answers. She takes time to enjoy putting makeup on and the process of picking the colors, as well as working with resin «that’s something just for me», alone time, gardening and taking care of plants, «that can be such a source of joy», sewing…
«Allow yourself to explore it», Ena
We get into an exciting conversation about sewing and why I would like to do it but think I can’t and how. Ena got into sewing and she made herself six dresses last year! Check out the episode to hear our stories about it.
«If you know the basics, just do it and try it», Ronja
What is your message to the world?
«You are not broken. Whatever experiences you had in the past, there is future for you, there is life, love, happiness, joy, pleasure, everything ahead of you. You can not only survive your bad experiences, but you can thrive, no matter what you’ve gone through. That is my message. No matter what you’ve been through, it might have been tough, but trust me, you can be happy».
That is so true and so encouraging. It might not be easy, but it’s worth the work and all the steps.
Ena adds: «Allow yourself to explore what is out there, allow yourself to ask yourself «what if it is possible for me to experience joy and love and happiness» if you’ve been feeling really low so far».
A grand ending for another great conversation!
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