Katy Henry talks about how to find our soul’s purposeJul 07, 2021
Katy is a five element acupuncturist based in the UK. She travelled the last few years after working 20 years in her own company – a natural health center. Katy has such a wonderful and calm presence and it was a delight to have this conversation with her. We talk about Katy’s journey from being a (more than) full time working company owner to making the choice to stop and find her soul’s purpose.
Our conversation starts by Katy stating: «I have just taken a few years off as a sabbatical». There were lots of big life changes, that Katy will talk about later during this episode.
Katy has created an online course called «Embody Your Essence». It‘s all around connecting energy systems, it‘s about bringing people in alignment. «As an accupunctrist I work with this incredible life force, that we have within us». Katy created the 12 path way program, so that we can have a self-practice. «We’re each on our own journey. Having that connection with ourselves and making the choice to be is what brings us joy».
«I wanted to create something that allowed people to help support themselves», Katy
Katy used to work with women in fertility, until she felt that she didn‘t want to do that anymore. Now, after her sabbatical, she refound her passion for what she did, but now she works with women in fertility in a different way. She is looking for women, that have had a familiy, have a business and now want to create a life for themselves.
«I‘m here to support women on their fertility journey to create their life», Katy
Katy talks about her family that she has with her now ex-partner whom she met when his children were one and two years old.
«I think there is nothing more magical than being around little children when they‘re in full play and there is a real lightness to their joy», Katy
I ask Katy what brings her joy and she answers:
«My joy comes mainly from being in nature, being with people in conversation and connection, celebrating and seeing people shine, just that moment of spontaneous laughter or being held in a space, watching a beautiful sunrise… I think I can equal have joy on my own and with others».
Katy says that to her, creating joy is creating space. A space where you remove all the should‘s and the noise, where you can connect with yourself. «The disappointment for me, from my journey in my twenties, was about looking for joy outside of myself and the reality is, the joy comes from within».
In Katy‘s twenties there was a lot of sadness and depression «it‘s almost as if I gave my joy away to other people», Katy says. «Now I can create joy just in remembering who I am and how blessed I am in terms of “I‘m privileged and I get to choose“». Lack of joy is at the point, when we don‘t feel connected to ourselves.
«Consciously choose every moment», Katy
«I think there is nothing more heartbreaking than being surrounded by people and feeling lonely», Katy
Katy says that when she studied acupuncter at the age of 30, it gave her purpose. «Once I was on my soul path, then I was absolutely in a beautiful place. It brought me joy and it also brought other people immense joy».
At 47, 17 years in, when Katy was living with the man she adored and had a business that was fantastic and not only served her and her patients but also many many people, there was something that shifted and changed. «I was looking for something different. There was a really different energy in that. That wasn‘t an energy of depression or not loving myself which had been experienced in my twenties, but there was that real searching for something more», Katy recalls.
During that time Katy was in her menopause, the kids were growing up, they experienced empty nesting and Katy asked herself the quetsion: «What‘s next, what‘s for me?»
«As women particulary – but actually I think this is shifting and changing for men - we dedicate our lives in the early years to making sure everyone else is okay and at some point it shifted for me. I knew that I didn‘t want to help people have babies anymore and that was a really turmoil thing because I thought it brings so much joy and why wasn‘t it bringing me the same level of joy», Katy says.
When her soul spoke to her, it said that it wanted to find joy in adventure. It wants spontaneouty, it wants that part of not having a diary.
It was that real going back to adventuring, not knowing where she was going to park up and not having a diary, after 15 years of running back to back on appointments.
Katy tried to sell her business for 2, 3 years but «for whatever reason it wasn‘t happening». Thanks to her amazing team the business carried on growing.
«As a business owner you can have a business that works without you, grows without you», Katy
«My soul absolutely craved freedom. I had to build up courage but I know that I want to go exploring», Katy
«Being in the diary system day and day out doesn‘t feed my soul», Katy
Katy says that it wasn‘t that she didn‘t love her business or the man whom she had loved for 20 plus years, it was for her.
That is the beauty of change. I was teaching for 12 years and I loved teaching, I loved the school and the students, but I closed that chapter anyway, because for me it was time to move on.
«I don‘t feel like I‘m particularly skilled in letting things go, I hold on for way too long. Maybe that‘s part of my creating joy. Now I‘m making more conscious choices and I have the space to do that», Katy says.
Katy adds: «There is certainly an appreciation as we get older, that a whole lot of the stuff that we used to hold on to doesn‘t matter. We give less fucks, definitely, yeah. And that‘s not to say that it‘s disrespectful of other people‘s thoughts and feelings, but I just don‘t believe that we hold ourselves in that pain anymore or I certainly don‘t».
«When we stay on the wrong track for our soul too long we get sick, we get burned out», Ronja
«We have to be careful with the signs we get from our bodies and our soul», Ronja
Katy says that she thinks burnout is an overused word. People think that they can recover within a few weeks, but it takes months if not years to fully restore your energy into balance. Katy herself thought that she‘ll be taking six months off but it took her two years to be in the stage where she wanted to come back into work. «I would still not say that I had a burnout, although was doing 90 hours…».
«It’s pure bliss when you’re in your soul’s purpose», Katy
I ask Katy how one can find their soul’s purpose and she answers: «We take the noise out, that’s what it is. It can be walking in nature, it can be meditation, it can be journaling, whatever it is, but it’s having time removing the should’s and having time in peace with yourself, which sounds really simple but it’s not. Well it can be or maybe it’s the other bit of having the courage just to trust your instincts. Just to really trust yourself».
«It takes removing the noise and learning to trust yourself», Katy
«We strip away the layers of conditioning. If you look at young children, they have sheer joy being in the present moment, they’re determined with their getting up, when they walk, they fall down, they get back up again, and we have these skills in us and yet we numb them, we numb them with alcohol, with busy, with drugs, with social media, with all sorts of things. It’s that finding peace, finding connection and even just starting with a little gratitude. Noticing the bits in your day that you choose. We’re always making choices», Katy further explains. «The food we put in our bodies, the people we spend time with, the books we read, places we visit. Everyone thinks that there’s this huge moment when it descends upon us and we go «hooray we found it» and it isn’t. It’s that coming into and always taking a moment just to try new things».
Katy asks me, how I found my purpose. Listen to the episode for the whole story, here’s the short form: While studying food engineering, I did an internship in Japan for six months, where I met my Japanese husband. After that I produced Japanese salad dressings and people started asking me questions about Japan. The Japan business just grew out of that. I did events, I wrote a book, I created an online course. That’s when I realised, how much I love that online work and learning. Having had the sad experience of friends dying when I was 17 and realising – mostly when I was commuting - that many people are so frustrated and unhappy, I felt the calling of doing something that brings more joy into our lives. When my sister’s best friend died at 25 because of a heart attack, I thought «Oh wow, now I’m really done with anything that I SHOULD. Let’s kick out the shoulds and anything that wasn’t exciting». That’s how my joy business started. : )
At the moment the Japanese business is not existing because of the corona-crisis, the joy business pushed me over the edge. This podcast came out of this and now we’re already one year in! Amazing!
Katy sums up lovingly: «You’ve always struck me as somebody that embraces joy and embraces life, joy couldn’t be a better word for you».
«I feel like I’ve come full circle», Katy
«When we’re talking about our purpose then it’s the part when we’re in our bodies, and we’re not looking externally for validation, we know it in our hearts. Part of the fertility work, part of that soul expression for me is when our heart and womb are connected and this is my work», Katy says.
«We find our soul purpose when we are aligned», Katy
«Everyday life comes in and takes us off track a little bit, but if we are in line with ourselves, with nature, with the heaven and earth within us, but also the heaven and earth outside of us, then that is the most beautiful state of being», Katy adds.
Katy says: «There are so many people that live a different experience. As a white woman I have huge privilege. Part of my mental health issue was the disconnect between knowing that I’m privileged and still feeling unhappy or uncertain of myself. I’m really aware of everyone who listens, that we each have our own unique individual story. Part of that is coming to acceptance and being and finding the joy in the simple things in life».
«Just spending 20 minutes on the grass, on the ground, that has this incredible life force, and being present in that moment and knowing where we decompress», Katy
Katy wants to encourage women to ask sooner what it is that they want and then get
really good at asking for what it is that they want.
If there is one thing that Katy would love to tell her younger self, it’s:
«What I want matters and it is okay for me to ask what I want», Katy
«If you ask for what you want, the probability to get it is just so much higher», Ronja
When we have space in our lives, it‘s easier to hear those requests within ourselves, it‘s learning and relearning how we can start asking.
«If we haven‘t got that self love, we are putting our own insecurities in our relationships with everyone», Katy
«I have never felt as loved as in the past three years», Katy
It‘s the big trick and the big curse, that we have to love ourselves first before we can love others.
Katy states: If we are doing honest communication with ourselves and it‘s okay for us to ask what we want and say no to the things we don‘t want, then we‘re unleashing ourselves from a really restrictive life. If I put my accupuncter hat on, such restriction will create inbalance in the body and over time that builds up and it creates disharmony in our bodies».
«We‘re forever shifting and moving and changing», Katy
«We can ask for what we want and we can say no to things that we don‘t want», Katy
«Balance and joy and harmony comes from when we allow flow to happen», Katy
Katy‘s message to the world:
«I would just invite the people to come back to themselves. To really trust yourself, because you are your greatest teacher and advocate. Know that you‘re constantly making choices. Little choices are the ones that matter, that‘s how you find your soul purpose».
What a beautiful ending! I hope you‘ve enjoyed this conversation as much as I have!
This is where you can find Katy:
Resources we talked about:
The Way of Heaven, Chinese classic
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