Natalie Bullen talks about how shifting your mindset ensures successMar 11, 2022
Natalie Bullen is a money mindset coach, an incredibly interesting and inspiring person. Her story is one that you’ll be able to learn so much from! I met Natalie in a business group and I’m so delighted to share our conversation with you! It’s powerful, strong and full of insights. Natalie lives what she says and does what she wants. You are in for a treat!
As owner of Unapologetic Wealth, Natalie helps women, especially women of color, step into the wealth that they deserve and desire. She positions clients for success by
“I help women who are under earning beneath their potential, start charging more, getting more confident, learn how to sell, so that they can start hitting 10 and 20’000$ a month”, Natalie
After helping them grow this money, she moves on with them to the financial planning piece. Natalie is a licensed financial planner, she does debt management, saving plans, estate planning preparation and “all the little pieces that move you from rich to wealthy. High incomes alone don’t create generational wealth and unfortunately, women are more likely to be the breadwinner but we’re the least likely to take financial risks and hit our retirement goals.”
As always I ask my favorite question: What brings you joy?
“It brings me joy to speak, it brings me joy to talk about what it is that holds people back from success and gives them hope and encouragement and motivation. Being on podcasts such as yours gives me joy in my everyday life. Talking to my beautiful husband and making him laugh. I have a goal to make three people laugh per day. Since I’m 22 years old. I haven’t missed a day yet. I don’t ever intend to, the day I’ll miss it is probably the day they’ll put me in the ground.”
I ask how Natalie came up with this goal when she was twenty two. She answers that she was kind of a grumpy teenager and bullied in middle school: “I put on a hard shell as a defense mechanism”. Natalie started listening to Will Smith and watching his movies. She heard him say that laughing was a coping mechanism for him and that if he could bring joy to other people, it would make his life better. Like “I have a terrible day, but look what I’ve done for someone else”.
“I thought to myself, that’s pretty doable. I can’t ensure that I’m always gonna have a good day, but I can ensure that I’m gonna run into three people, and if I run into three people, I’m gonna say something funny”. Natalie gives credit to Will Smith for that.
I ask Natalie about other nuggets that she enjoys in her everyday life.
“Now that I’m a full time entrepreneur, Friday’s are CEO days which means I don’t work”, Natalie says and radiates joy even talking about it! No work means no commitments, no chat room, no coffee meeting, nothing that has to be put into a calendar.
“Achievement does not equal a successful business”, Natalie
“I can do nothing for a day and nothing bad is going to happen. I’ve had to unlearn a pattern of overworking and being busy constantly.” Natalie
We talk about Natalie’s story, how she became who she is today.
“I didn’t realize that I was perceived as a mean or angry person”, Natalie surprisingly launches into this part of our conversation. Every year she does an experiment on facebook where she asks people to write one word that describes her. “The words that I got at first were very unpleasant. It’s good to self assess but also good to understand public perception”.
“I was excellent, but nobody wanted to engage with me”, Natalie
Natalie was denied a promotion with no good reason after working there for over 6 years and doing a great job. So she asked herself “What if it’s just because they don’t like me?”.
“There is a difference between honesty and unsolicited feedback”, Natalie
Natalie started to ask herself: “Is my opinion necessary, is it relevant, is it interesting or is it kind? If it isn’t any of this, then I shouldn’t say anything. That has helped me a ton”.
Natalie was raised with the belief that what other people think is none of your business. “I never cared, I never asked, it didn’t matter to me”, Natalie recalls.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”, Natalie
It is so interesting to hear Natalie’s story, because she’s coming from the exact opposite side of so many women that grow up to be this stereotyped person, that is told over and over again that they can’t do this or can’t do that, because what would other people think etc.
Natalie says that what became difficult for her, was that she thought people didn’t have an opinion of her, that she didn’t matter that much and that only people very close to her had an opinion. The experiment on Social Media opened her eyes to the fact that even strangers also have an opinion about her
Natalie says that her picture should say: “Hire me” and have little dollar pictures floating around. She realized that people not only had to respect, but actually like her in order to work with her.
“Everyone’s authentic self is a pretty expression of them”, Natalie
“I think being your whole self is a big, bold and courageous thing, especially if you don’t look like the way society tells you you’re supposed to look”, Natalie
Natalie says that a financial consultant is supposed to be an old white guy and adds that she obviously is everything but that.
“I want people to know that however they are is fine, but it might not be getting them the result they want. That’s the realization I came to.”, Natalie
She encourages anybody out there who is willing to get some brutal feedback to make an annual facebook post and ask for one word that describes you.
Natalie adds that her words are now so different: Generous, kind, knowledgeable, intelligent, ambitious “I don’t get any of that bossy, stern, mean crap anymore”.
Natalie says one of the best parts of entrepreneurship is choosing her clients and not having to work with the public. “When somebody would come into my old job and say they didn’t want to work with a Black person, I still had to help them and that sucks, ‘cause I’m pretty Black”.
A thing that Natalie works with to discern whether she wants to work with a person or not is to do the “be – do – have” test:
- What do people need to be before they qualify to work with you?
- What do people need to do before they are qualified to work with you?
- What do people need to have before they are qualified to work with you?
“I love using the word qualify because you need to be aware, everybody who wants to give you money isn’t your assignment, just like everybody who wants to date you, isn’t who you should marry”, Natalie explains.
To work with Natalie you need to be a woman in business, you need to be ambitious and want more, you need to be a winner. “I don’t help people who feel like losers. If you are defeated I probably refer you to a counselor or therapy. My coaching doesn’t help you cure low self-esteem or deeply rooted trauma”. You have to do the work. You have to be visible, you have to know your numbers. You have to hire an accountant or a bookkeeper so you know what you’re bringing in.
“I invite anybody who sells anything, to ask: What does this person need to be, what do they need to do and what must they have, before you are willing to take their money”.
I really like this idea. I use the be – do – have -exercise for my clients to think about their future: Who they want to be – do – have in five years, ten years or even later in their lives. But it’s so cool to switch it around.
The be – do – have for everything!
The shortest distance between you and success is action, even messy action. We purposely slow down the action by overthinking and creating a long list of things we don’t have, because we say we’re unqualified.
Another hack that Natalie shares is that she asks people: What would the woman do who already has all the things you say you need to have? How would she behave?
She told herself: “Why don’t I go building these things now instead of waiting for it to happen? By doing the actions now, I’m all but guaranteeing that positive things happen”.
Natalie says that she lost 40 pounds in 2020 because she started acting like an athlete. She got up in the morning and told herself she was an athlete. She asked fit people what they ate for breakfast and when she was lounging on the couch she thought to herself “Serena Williams wouldn’t lounge on the couch right now, Serena would be out on the trail. Beyonce wouldn’t be lounging on the couch, Beyonce would be at a dance rehearsal”. Natalie told herself: “I’m an athlete, so what would an athlete do”, instead of “I’m an overweight person on a diet”. That mindset shift was the key.
“Most of us are treating ourselves like imposters. We put who we are and who we want to be on different planes. That’s what I would tell people: What outcome are you looking for and how can you embody that now and what actions can you take now to get your there. That’s the mindset I have”.
I love that! The Future Self Meditation that I often do myself and with my clients is a similar process. It has such a powerful impact. You can dial into 10 years or 5 years or whatever time span you’d like to cover and get to know the best version of yourself in the future. Many people experience this guided meditation like a movie and with time you can get instant answers from your best version of your future self. You have the best counselor at your side: yourself!
We finish our conversation by a great chat about how old Natalie wants to become. She says that in her family everyone has longevity so she expects to live to age 100. “I fully expect to live into my 90’s, just because of my genes”, Natalie says and adds laughing that that’s why she thought really well about whom she married. “I’m not willing to be unhappy for 50+ years! I made sure I was certain before I committed. Luckily, Dave is amazing. It wasn’t a hard decision”.
“I would like to have a life that people can reflect on and say “wow, what a wonderful life”, Natalie
Natalie’s message to the world:
“I am Natalie Bullen and I was put on this earth to help eradicate poverty in communities of color and help women so that they can earn the wealth that they deserve and desire”.
What a great mind-blowing conversation! I’m so grateful that Natalie took this hour to share her wisdom with us and I’m so curious how you like this episode. Please share it with us on Instagram (@joyismycompass / @unapologeticwealth) or a review on your favorite podcast app.
To connect with Natalie you can join her free facebook group “Unapologetic Wealth” or meet her on Clubhouse, where she’s three times a week @nataliebullen. These are all the links:
Website: https://www.unapologeticwealth.com/ and https://www.nataliebullen.com
Resources or people we mentioned in the podcast:
- Will Smith
- Iris Apfel
- Cicely Tyson
- Betty White
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