Eleshia Harris talks about why taking care of yourself is the biggest gift not only to you but to everyone around you!Jul 11, 2022
Eleshia Harris is a business growth strategist and an implementation coach. I was a guest on Eleshia’s podcast and I’m so happy that she agreed to share her experiences on The Let’s Create Joy Podcast! Eleshia is a gorgeous woman who’s full of joy and plans to make this world a more joyful place. Her moms passing away shifted Eleshia’s whole perspective on life. Eleshia shares her most important take-aways and how the early death of her mother made her realize that she needs to bring more joy in her life.
“I help business owners get really clear on their desires and goals and I help them to implement and take action fast”, Eleshia
Eleshia found joy through a sad happening in her life: “I found joy, it’s gonna sound really weird, when my mum passed away. I realized that I had to live my life more joyfully". Eleshia says that her mother passed away with so many dreams & desires that she couldn’t do, “it made me recognize to take my life into my own hands and find my own joy”.
Eleshia was very close to her mother and fell into a long grieve state, during which she experienced a miscarriage. That’s when Eleshia decided to leave her career in corporate.
”It was time to live my life without giving any zero fucks!”, Eleshia
Not caring anymore was a huge deal for Eleshia, because she was a people pleaser, which makes setting boundaries and sticking to them really hard. Nonetheless, Eleshia made it and is happier today than ever.
“I find joy every day”, Eleshia
Eleshia says that she’s grateful that she gets to spend a lot of time with her daughter and her brother, who is on the autism spectrum. She’s grateful for her husband and that she gets to take care of herself. When her mother died, her siblings looked up to her and Eleshia realized how important it was - especially now - to take good care of herself, so that she can take good care of her family.
“We throw around the word self-care, but I did look after myself from that perspective, I did put in those things in place that made sure that I was ok to be able to do the things that I needed to do at that time”, Eleshia
“Taking care of ourselves means that we can give more”, Ronja
“I get to enjoy being a mum and a wife, but I also get to enjoy helping other business owners look after their business and themselves”, Eleshia
Eleshia tells that both her parents came from the caribbean to the UK as teenagers and when Eleshia was growing up, they always told her that she has to work harder to make sure that she would get the opportunities that some of her peers would get as well and that she always needed to have a plan B. “That’s how I lived my life, but now I’m like, my plan A and my plan B and my plan C, they can all merge together and I can do what I want to do and still create so much joy in the world and do that with a full heart and from a heart-lit place and enjoy the people that I work with, and the people that I meet”.
Eleshia loved her job in corporate but “what I didn’t love is the politics, I didn’t love all the things that I had to do to be seen & heard”.
When Eleshia was offered permanent work but at a lower salary than her peers, she decided to stop there and do something else. Before Eleshia took that step, she started training to become a pilates teacher. “It kept me together when my mum was going through her cancer journey”. Her mother was a big support to Eleshia, when she was diagnosed, she encouraged Eleshia to go ahead with the training and not stop because of her. It was tough for Eleshia, because she wanted to be there to support her mum and she was still working too, “but it really saved me, it distracted me”.
Eleshia is big on well-being - some sort of movement every day, thinking about what to put in your mouth, get rest and time to reflect & and thinking about what’s going on in your life. These things are non-negotiable.
We talk about the pilates industry that is primarily domesticated by white people.
Eleshia recalls that it was hard sometimes, especially when you’re not seeing people who look like you and you’re not teaching people that look like you. “Sometimes people don’t always recognize, this body is still a body and we just walk different shapes and sizes, but being told that your body can’t do something, it took a toll on how I felt about my pilates practice”. Thankfully over the last two years Eleshia had a wonderful and supportive pilates teacher and now Eleshia even implements pilates in her work with her clients.
Clients book Eleshia because she’s a business coach, but Eleshia always includes their lifestyle too: “At the beginning you are your business, if there is no you, there is no business”.
“You have to invest in you to invest in your business”, Eleshia
Eleshia tells of a client whose business really - and almost by itself - took off once she was clear what she actually wanted and what was important to her.
“When you’re internally thinking about yourself and what you need and you turn down the dial of what everybody else is telling you, that you should be doing and you just listen within and you get very intentional, the message and the guidance are there”, Eleshia
We also talk about us having similar businesses and not fearing each other as threats. Us having similar business means that “there are other people talking about being joyful and finding that joy from within to help build your brand or build your business or live your life in an amazing way, bring me more people like that, let’s do this work together”, Eleshia says.
“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms”, Zen Shin
If you get into the swirl of a comparison negative spiral it’s devastating. People won’t know who you are, because you’re trying to imitate others.
Eleshia’s tips for more joy
Movement: Break it down, make it fun -> have 5 minute dance breaks throughout the day, do 10 squats while the kettle is boiling…
Food: Cook in batches so that you eat fresh and healthy even when you don’t have time to cook
Female cycle: Work with your female cycle and/or the moon cycle, the moon will help guide you
Put yourself first: Find those pockets of time where you can enjoy time for yourself
I ask Eleshia how she deals with mum-guilt and she simply and very clearly answers: “My mum put ourselves first”.
“I constantly tell my clients and my friends and my family, if we’re not talking about what’s really going on, we can create dis-ease in our body, and then that creates disease. Anytime that I don’t feel like I am doing myself the service of looking after myself, I have the reminder that my mom’s not here”, Eleshia
“Your body gives you signs all the time”, Eleshia
Eleshia had a burnout during her time in corporate and she says: “I believe that the burnout and the grief affected my fertility journey. We are whole, we have to realize that”.
“Can you delegate it to someone else? We don’t have to do it all and nor should we want to”, Eleshia
We talk about getting up early in the morning to have some me-time. I don’t need motivation to get up in the morning, but I need to go to bed like a toddler or a granny. : ) I’ve been talking about sleeping 8 hours per night for years and now that I finally do it consistently, it’s like being a different person.
“I love my sleep”, Eleshia
Eleshia says that she’s always enjoyed time with herself. Her advice to people who feel uncomfortable when they’re not surrounded by other people is: Start small with 10, 15 minutes, then build up from there. Have some quiet time, when you’re not distracting yourself, when you’re not scrolling on Socials, and see how you’re doing.
“If I don’t get time alone, I get really irritable”, Eleshia
Eleshia likes to ask herself in the morning: “How are you feeling?” She sits with her own thoughts and has conversations with herself.
“I love those small increments of time for myself”, Eleshia
I really love going to the movies alone. I can cry, I can laugh and I don’t have to take care of anybody else, it’s just me and the movie. Eleshia says that she enjoys going to cafes and restaurants alone. “I love people watching; I turn it into a little game of “who do I see, what are they doing, what conversation are they having… to me that makes me feel like I am being part of their life but they don’t know it. I make it exciting for me, I don’t make it a chore, I don't make it overwhelming”.
“I find it really important to have space for myself, to really grow. Sometimes you can be in a place where you’re hearing everybody else's thoughts all the time and then you think: Are these my thoughts or actually am I being influenced by somebody else’s thoughts? In order for me to feel like I am growing, I have to step away from everybody else’s thoughts and spend time with myself”, Eleshia says. She explains that when she’s recording a podcast, she doesn’t listen to any other podcasts to ensure that it’s her authentic self showing up.
“Being ok with being alone is a learned skill”, Ronja
Through life experience, Eleshia has decided that “this is me & I am ok with who I am”.
“As long as I continue to practice what I preach, I’m doing the best that I can for Eleshia, which then transforms into the best that I can do for my family and then my clients benefit as well, and my friends benefit as well and the world benefits”, Eleshia
I ask Eleshia, when and why she started wearing bright colors instead of black colors. Eleshia answers that she used to tell herself that black was her favorite color, that it made her thinner and more professional looking. After corporate she decided that she no longer had to wear darker colors and started to experiment.
“I am as important as the next person to be seen, heard and respected and I need to show that in the way I look as well”, Eleshia
I love bright colors and I always have to make a compliment when I see someone wearing a bright pink sweater or a bright yellow raincoat, it just makes my day and often it makes their day as well. : )
“Your words can be so impactful. You can change people’s whole day with a lovely compliment that you mean”, Eleshia
Eleshia’s message to the world:
“Remember that you’re amazing, all of us are amazing and sometimes we are not always felt to feel that way and so I’m here to tell you that you are amazing, remember to invest in yourself, sometimes we’re not told to do that, we don’t always listen to the signs, you are your biggest investment, go and do whatever your heart desires. If you know that it’s something you need help with, go seek it. Go seek it, because some of you need that accountability, but don’t let your dreams die. Don’t let your dreams die with you. Do you, do what you want to do, you don’t always need to have a plan, you just need to take the first step”.
I’ve really enjoyed this talk, Eleshia radiates joy when she’s talking and laughing and it makes me truly happy having such wonderful guests on this podcast. I hope that you’ve enjoyed it too and if you did so, please share your thoughts and key take-aways on Socials and in a review on iTunes. Thank you for being here, your support means the world to me!
Make sure to follow Eleshia, she’s got some juicy things coming up! : )
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