I WANT TIME for MYSELF!Jun 07, 2023
In the spring of 2015, Ken, Mika and I were in Japan for 5 weeks. It was such a cool time, we traveled to all the corners where our friends and the Sakata clan lived and celebrated life.
Family time. 24 hours a day. For some a dream, for me it was HORROR. Yeah, I mean it. Of course I love to spend time with Ken and Mika, buuuuuut I need regular time for ME, ALONE, otherwise I have no energy and especially quite a bad mood. I need at least one pajama day a week, even at home and when I called for my Japan pajama day, Ken was like,
"Okeeey!? You seriously want to spend ONE WHOLE precious Japan day at home (with my father-in-law in his beautiful house)??? I'm off then, bye bye!"
Ha! I DID have my pajama day, but I had the grumpy 4 year old defiant monster with me too. Zero relaxation. Cooking lunch, blablabla ... then in the evening I had my personal tantrum of defiance and Mr. Sakata said, "Then go AWAY and get your alone time!" (he's so damn good at claiming his time, that's why he was totally serious about it).
The next day I took a bus and drove alone into the mountains of Kyoto...higher and higher through a beautiful valley to visit the Ojizo statues of a famous temple. Ojizos are small miraculous stone statues that protect children and travelers that I had always wanted to see. It was bright weather and just so, so, soooo peaceful.
I was spending time with ME and sat in the quiet park admiring these stone statues (a poster of my favorite is in my office) for hours. Suddenly it seemed like my favorite Ojizo whispered to me, "Go yukkuri tanoshinde, susunde kudasai!" Meaning, "Go forward leisurely and enjoy your journey."
Walk leisurely forward. That sounded SO good.
It became clear to me. "Ronja, you have to take care of yourself! Your "me-time" is so sacred and you NEED it, so then, take it. Organize it!”
That’s when I started getting up at 4:44 in the morning. Crazy, right? I stopped dilly-dallying around in the evening and went straight to bed at the same time as my four year old. Ken was working mostly in the evening so I didn’t miss out on couple-time anyway.
First it was cruel and soooo dark, then I got into the rhythm and hey, I had 8 hours of sleep so I was fit and ready for my ME-time like a champ. Two full hours for journaling, meditating, working out, going outside… I felt how my energy level and mindset rose every day.
You might say: “I have no chance to get up before my kids, they wake up as soon as I move my big toe.” I get it. Mika got up many times too BUT I was really truly clear about this is MY ME TIME! I told her firmly “You are allowed and welcome to quietly lay on the sofa, watch the candles and watch me doing my thing. You are NOT allowed to ask questions, talk, jump around or anything else other than just being here.”
It reminded me of the time when I decided that from now on I will slap ANY person who dared to touch my pregnant belly without asking. I’m a very peaceful person but at that time I was so angry about these unasked-for touches. Without telling anyone this decision must have shown in my energy. Nobody ever reached out to touch my belly afterwards.
Anyway, my very bold boundaries about my ME-time impressed Mika enough that after a few laying on that sofa-times she stayed asleep. I was proud of showing her that self-care-time is important and setting boundaries around it is ok.
I found this important part of my missing piece back in 2015. It gave me peace, energy, time to grow and expand in my personal and professional life. It still to this day is the thing I’m very aware of to organize and claim it for me: ME-TIME!
"Go yukkuri tanoshinde, susunde kudasai!"
"Go forward leisurely and enjoy your journey." That's been my mantra since 2015.
In the free "Allow"-Masterclass I hold the space for you to listen to and actually hear your feelings so that you can tune in to your thoughts and decide what your next steps might be to find what’s missing in your life right now. You are not alone in feeling that way, even though your life is great - I was already very happy with my life when I realized that enough ME-time was something that I’ve been missing. We are allowed to aim for MORE for feeling better and better in our everyday life.
If you want to discover the spark of true excitement at the reality of what’s possible in your life by finding proof in real life stories of people just like you, watch the free “Allow”-Masterclass HERE.
Let’s make this world more joyful, playful & colorful.
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