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Why you should question every “should” in your life

Sep 14, 2023

Imagine being at a party and observing a person throwing off their shoes and dancing wildly in the moist grass while the other rather distinguished guests shake their heads in disapproval.

Or seeing a father bringing a funny and colorfully decorated vegan cake to the school event, totally not embarrassed by standing out in the middle of beige shortbread and sponge cakes.

Or overhearing two women talk about a solo vacation without their toddlers and how happy they are to finally get a break from their family.

Have you caught yourself thinking that they shouldn’t do that?

We are conditioned to judge the actions of others and ourselves, when they don’t fit our understanding of societal expectations, not realizing how (much) this behavior affects our lives.

Let’s take that last example - the two women that are happy to go on a solo vacation. You’ve probably been taught that family always comes first so you can’t really approve of their joy of GOING AWAY. Your conditioned reaction is to be annoyed by it and even find it really egoistic, you might tell someone about it or forget it soon BUT - and here’s the important part - you never ponder and ask yourself what you're really thinking about it when all the conditioned reactions are stripped away. You never get to ask yourself why you find this so questioning and if you would actually enjoy it as well so you also never find out that it’s perfectly fine to plan a solo vacation and ENJOY the time away from your family. It’s often even better to plan regular hideaways to recharge your battery. Do you see how that conditioned behavior makes sure that you keep trotting in the same tracks that many of you have before?

If you would love to dance in the moist grass when you feel like it, not caring about what others think, if you’d like to bring whatever YOU want to the school event, no matter for how many centuries everybody has brought the same old (boring) pastry and if you’d like to enjoy a solo vacation away from your kids and/or partner without feeling guilty about it, I invite you to question the “shoulds” in your life.

Head over to my newest blog article where I show you an exercise that helps you differentiate what “shoulds” you want to listen to - and why! - and how you can get rid of all the “shoulds” that you only obey because you don’t know any better / that’s how you’ve been raised / that’s what everybody else does.

By consciously choosing your reaction towards all the “shoulds” in your life you can do more of what feels true to YOU and makes YOU happy, free from social expectations.

Here’s the link to the blog article: Share in the comments below what "shoulds" you are struggling with and what the exercise has done for you.

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