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Coach Fard Bell on creating joy in every circumstance

Sep 30, 2020

I met Coach Fard Bell at a Speakers Mastermind Event where we had a lot of fun together, so I’m super happy to spend this hour talking with Fard who is at least as joyful as me. : ) He sparkles with joy while talking about his take on how to create joy even in hard times. It is a delight to listen to him, so let’s dive right into it. Enjoy! : )

Coach Fard lives in Sacramento, California and is the owner of the BornCEO Academy, an online school where he helps people find out what they were born to be and to do and how they can put themselves in a position to create more time and financial freedom so they can do what they love without having to worry about how the bills are going to be paid or how to find the time. Fard is also a bestselling author and recently published the first edition of The BornCEO Series which is called: Born To Rule. «I’m so proud of it», Fard smiles. I read the book in the meantime and I can highly and personally recommend it to read and get inspired!

«Everyone has a story to tell, everyone has a message to share», Fard

It’s part of Fard’s mission to help more people getting that message out to the world. He says that it always helped him to work with great coaches, «with which we can go on much faster than we would on our own».

I also love to see my clients in their shining light, even before they can see it themselves, and help them do that transformation. I always invest in coaches myself too.

Fard says that his Nr. 1 expense has been in a personal development mentoring coaching leadership development. «It’s the best investment I’ve ever made».

«I think the best investment we can ever make is in ourselves, the return is infinite», Fard

The best thing is, that you can always keep it. You can take it wherever you go and your mindset is just yours, nobody can take it from you. When I was a teacher, there were certain things the students had to do, which was something that I never liked, my coaching clients are free to choose what they want to do or not and that is such a good feeling.

I ask Fard: What brings you joy in your everyday life? How do you create joy?

He replies, that people often ask him «why are you always so happy» and he’s like «why aren’t YOU always so happy?» : ) but he gave it some thought and came up with 10 ways to create joy, all from personal experience. «I’m not always so joyful, but probably 99.5% of the time I’m filled with joy and gratitude».

Get ready for Fard’s 10 points to create joy!

Nr. 1 - Believe that you are loved unconditionally
«There was a time, when my joy was greatly impacted about how other people treated me. The problem is, that often times the love of others is conditional and it can send us on a emotional roller coaster». Fard says that in his first book he talks about his own story and about that time when he was 6 years old and didn’t want to live anymore.

«It wasn’t until I believed that I was loved unconditionally that I tapped into an unlimited supply of joy», Fard

Fard tells me, that he was heavely teased as a kid, his family moved around a lot, so he was always the new kid and on top of that had several health issues like asthma, which led to a few near death experience. «When I came to school one day I overheard my teachers making fun of my name. Hearing the people I looked up doing that made a huge impact on me. I started to believe that if the teachers were saying the same thing as the kids were saying, maybe everything the kids said was true as well. I started to believe things that weren’t true about myself, I didn’t feel loved, I didn’t feel valued».

Fard recounts, that in the midst of that, he had a dream, where god showed up and told him: «I’m with you and I’m pleased and I’m keeping you alive because there is something very important that you were born to do». Fard recalls waking up and feeling the same way as when he was dreaming, loved and just differently.

Stay put, this story gets even more stunning!

The next day, Fard visited his best friends house, he slipped on the wet street while running across it without looking. «Before I could get up I heard tyres screeching and I braced myself, but the truck barely touched my back. My best friend was standing in the door mouth open and the truck driver was looking for my body unterneath the truck and started weeping when I stood up. All I could think of was the dream I just had the day before and the message «I’m keeping you alive because there’s something important that you were born to do».

That is where the whole BornCEO message comes from. Fard says that he felt a level of love that he didn’t believe existed before. From that day on he started to notice different things and realized, that god’s love had been there the entire time. «If nobody else loves me, I know that I can always go back to the source of love from the creator of the universe and it’s never running out, it’s never conditional. That has sparked a spark of joy that has never gone away».

I ask Fard, what do you say if somebody doesn’t believe in god?

«I can totally relate to that, as there was a time when I just didn’t know what I didn’t know», he replies. He learned, that faith is a choice: «I can choose to believe that there is no god and that there is no unconditional love or I can choose to believe and open myself up to receive that unconditional love. If I’m gonna choose anyway, I want to choose what brings the greatest joy to my life and it certainly brings me more joy to believe that I’m loved unconditionally, to believe in a higher power and to allow myself to receive all that comes with that and so I would just say, be open to receiving that unconditional love. When you do allow to receive that unconditional love, you are tapping into a source of unlimited joy. No matter what you go through in life, it will carry you through. I’ve been through a lot of hard stuff in life and I don’t know if I would still be here if I hadn’t allowed myself to believe and to receive that unconditional love of god».

«Allow yourself to feel that way», Ronja

I like that answer. Maybe that’s all you need to tell yourself, you don’t need an old story or the bible to allow yourself to feel unconditionally loved.

Nr. 2 - Put your crown on
You are the born CEO of your life incorporated. When you put your crown on, it’s a reminder that you are royalty, when you understand who you are and you develop a healthy self-worth, a healthy self-image, that alone creates a certain level of joy that we don’t have to get from anybody else.

«A lot of my loss of joy was because I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t allow myself to tap into my own power, my own self-worth», Fard says.

Fard doesn’t believe, that god created anybody lower than a 10 on a scale from 1 to 10. God only created tens. «You’re a ten!»

«Anytime you feel less than like a ten, you are flirting with lies», Fard

Fard tells me about a book by Laurie Beth Jones where she says «what if everything that you tell yourself came back and wrapped itself around you, what type of verbal wardrobe would you be wearing». Would you be wearing wrags or would you be wearing the guard of royalty? That’s a powerful image.

It makes you powerful too. You don’t need anybody else to do that. A lot of people say that that is egoistic, but if you’re full of energy you can serve the world much better than when you’re low on energy and low on self-esteem.

Fard amplifies, that he believes that anything above a ten is god, so that’s his territory. If you feel like you’re a 11 or 12, bring yourself back down, if you feel like a 7 bring yourself back up. «We don’t need to feel better then a 10. I think that’s just healthy self-esteem».

Nr. 3 - Practice personal development
Fard says: «I get so much joy from growing every day. For me personal development is transforming into the best version of your true self. If you begin to know yourself, you feel that unconditional love, you put your crown on…, now it’s time to grow. What can we learn, what can we read, what classes can we take to become who we were born to be. Some practices that have helped me during the last years; read 10 pages each day of a good book - I don’t even enjoy the process of reading but I love to learn, I love to grow - 30 minutes a day of a good audiobook or a youtube video. Attend a seminar. It’s so rewarding. There’s a source of joy that comes from growth».

«I don’t think that we can be truly happy when we’re not growing», Fard

To me it’s like a tree that has thousands of leaves, it doesn’t ask itself if 3 or 4 leaves are enough, it keeps growing new leaves. It’s the same with a field of flowers, there are so many colors and diversity and it keeps evolving.

«One of the greatest thieves of joy is the lack of growth», Fard

Nr. 4 - Guard your mind
«It’s one thing to grow and to develop, it’s another thing to guard your mind», Fard says. One of his first childhood memories was pulling weeds. His neighbour worked in his garden and Fard asked, if he could help. First he just pulled the weed at the top, but his neighbour showed him how he had to dig deeper to take it out at the root. «I learned that your mind is like a garden, you don’t have to make anything to have weed growing, it takes 0 effort for weed to grow, but it takes effort to maintain a beautiful garden (of our minds)». To Fard, one of the best things he did was turning of the television. He decided to stop exposing his mind to negative news, to negative thoughts, to negative people and replace it with positive thoughts. «There was a time when I started watching television again and my dreams were different, my inspiration was different, I was feeling a little depressed or down, I was allowing outside sources to affect my joy».

In the process of creating more joy in your life, remember to protect your mind from the things that rob your joy. Whatever that means for you. Fard likes to know what’s going on, but a part of that is also knowing what he has influence over and what he doesn’t have influence over. «If it’s something I don’t have much influence over, I don’t allow it to take up much of my focus or a lot of my energy. If all I can do is pray, I pray, if I can do something about it, I’ll do something about it and I’m gonna focus on that».

«I focus on where I want to go, where I want to be and not where I don’t want to go, where I don’t want to be», Fard

Fard says, that he thinks one of the things that steal joy from a lot of people is being so open to the source of negativity and all types of influences that are robbing them of joy.

«I have learned to stand guard at the gates of my mind», Fard

I tell my clients that they have two watering pots each day and that they can decide if they want to water the flowers in the positive pot or in the negative pot. I always liked the Serenity Prayer too:

«God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
courage to change the things I can, 
and wisdom to know the difference», Rheinhold Niebuhr

Fard adds, that as the CEO of his life incorporated, it’s his job to protect his garden. «Weeds will grow so I have to tend the garden, I have to protect my mind of anything that robs me of joy, robs me of freedom, robs me of the ability of actually focusing on the things that I can do. Sometimes we can get so cut up in things that aren’t going well, that we loose sight of what we can influence. I rather focus on making that positive chance, floating in the joy, being a light in the world, than getting beat down by life».

To me it’s a good thing that we can choose. Imagine someone else deciding for you, that would awful!

«Be grateful, that you can choose», Ronja

Nr. 5 - Setting, planning and achieving goals
Fard tells me the story of when he was 14 years old and overhearing his stepdad listening to an audiobook by Napoleon Hill who is most famous for the book «Think and grow rich». «My dad always planted those seeds, he wanted us to think different and to have a better life than he had. One of the things he taught me was, if you don’t learn how to control your own destiny, you’ll spend your life subject to other peoples life and circumstances». One day he heard Napoleon Hill saying: «After studying the most succesful 500 people in the world, the number one thing they had in common was that they found their definite major purpose in life and they started to dedicate their life to that one single purpose». The program was called «The Science of Personal Achievement». Fard started learning that succesful people think differently and that one of the things that succesful people do is writing down their goals, planning their goals and achieving their goals. «Even when it’s small, decide what you want, make a plan for it and do something towards it every day. Think about your life and your vision for your life. Make a vision board or vision book, get clear on what you want your life to look like in the next 5 years, set goals and think about one thing that you can achieve in a year to bring you closer towards that dream, then break that down to a quarter and break that down by the month and by the week and by the day. My favorite question that moves me forward is «what simple thing can I do every day and or week that will automatically put me on track to achieve my goal». There’s simple, little things that we can do every day that add up over time», Fard says. One of the best days in his life was when he got to spend a day with his mentor Jim Rohn, who was a mentor to the great Les Brown, the great Tony Robbins and the great Fard Bell, he adds with a big smile.

«He taught me and so many others, that success is about doing simple little things that compound over time. It’s about simple daily disciplines. This means to me that there’s a formula for success and there’s a formula for failure and they are both very similar. The formula for failure is to say «I COULD do this simple little thing, I SHOULD do this simple little thing, but I don’t. I could, I should but I won’t». That’s the formula for failure. I could read 10 pages every day of a good book, it’s simple, but I don’t do it. I should eat an apple a day, I should exercise… it’s simple to do, I could, I should, but I don’t».  

«It’s the simple little things in life that make the difference», Fard

Fard further explains, that Jim Rohn told them: «What’s easy to do, is easy not to do». The formula for success is similar: «I could, I should and I did!» It doesn’t has to be major, it can be saying «I love you» to someone who needs to hear it today or to read 10 pages in a good book. It’s:

1. Finding out what you really really want
2. Making a winning plan
3. Implementing

«There is a source of joy that comes from making progress every day», Fard

For me it’s like a puzzle, first you put on the corners and the easy parts and then come some parts that are tricky but the image keeps evolving and in the end it’s «oh wow». It’s like writing a book, you write words and sentences which together are a chapter and all of a sudden it will be a book.

Fard says that the number one thing that people don’t invest in is the only thing that turns inspiration and information into the transformation that they’re seeking and that’s implementation. «To get a return on investment you have to implement».

«Implementation is very key», Fard

Goal achieving is like weight lifting, you start small and you build up muscle and then you can achieve bigger goals and bigger goals, but be kind to yourself and watch the joy that the progress gives you.

I think it is also important not to wait until something drastic happens. When I was younger, my dad had a lumbago and he couldn’t move for three days. After that he started working out everyday for now 35 years, which is about 30000 times doing his little workout. Today he has no problem to still walk up to our mountain hut, even at the age of 80.

«It’s the little things that make the whole difference, it’s habits and goals. It’s my gift to myself», Ronja

«Don’t wait, start right now, you’ll be so glad you did», Fard

Nr. 6 - Discover and do what you were born to do
«The joy and fulfillment that comes from doing what you were born to do, what you were gifted to do, that is a flame of joy you never want to go out», Fard explains. Dr. Myles Munroe, another mentor of Fard says, «that you can retire from a job, but you can never retire from your purpose. Your purpose is your life work».

«Discover what you were born to do, discover your gift and put together a plan to do it. There’s no greater fulfillment than knowing that you’re doing what you were put here to do. That’s a great source of joy in itself», Fard says.

«The world needs your gift», Fard

Nr. 7 - Make a positive impact on somebody’s life every day
That is a huge source of joy to Fard and he spontaneously offers free strategy sessions for the first people that book a session through → executive sessions. All you have to do is to mention, that you found Fard through my podcast. : ) (I’ll link it again down below) Fard talks about random acts of kindness, kind words, giving a smile to somebody, checking in with people… «My intention is to reach out to somebody every week that I haven’t spoken in a while and just check in how they’re doing».

Fard recites «a candle can never lose anything by lighting another candle», that John C. Maxwell wrote in his book «The 21 Qualities of a Leader».

Nr. 8 – Enjoy the beauty of creation
Take a walk, enjoy a breath of fresh air, look at the stars and simply enjoy the beauty of creation.

It can also be a little flower growing out of the asphalt, or insects, they always amaze me. A fly is like a living helicopter, so fascinating to watch! Or ants! : )

«Sometimes we have to tap into our inner child to be more in awe and to appreciate life, whatever it is, take your time to enjoy it», Fard

Nr. 9 – Smile more
There is something that happens when we smile, there are chemicals that are released. Fard remembers someone saying: «Each time we smile we throw a little feel good party in our brains». As you probably know by now – at least when you’re watching the video : ) - Fard loves to smile and he says that even when he’s not feeling like it, he smiles and that helps shifting his mood.

I love to do challenges like collecting smiles. Walk through the streets and try to collect as many smiles as possible, it’s like a ping pong game and you’ll be amazed about the reactions! : )

The last point on Fard’s list is especially important for tough times, because sometimes our circumstances are so that we aren’t feeling much joy.

Nr. 10 - Look for opportunity even in the midst of adversity
Napoleon Hill said: «In every adversity there lies within the seed of a greater or equivalent benefit». Fard also loves to read the bible for wisdom, guidance and even success principles and in the Book of James, it says: «Count it all joys when you fall into various trials, for the testing of your faith produces patience, but let patience have its perfect work so that you may be perfect, lacking nothing». To Fard that means, that even in the midst of the toughest circumstances, he can find joy in it, knowing that it’s gonna make something of him.

«Sometimes there are things inside of us, that we would never discover until the right obstacle shows up and brings out that greatness in us», Fard

Fard is fascinated by ants as well: «f you put an obstacle in front of an ant, it will go left, but stay focused on its destination. If it can’t go left it will go right. If it can’t go right it will climb over the obstacle, if it can’t climb over the obsctacle it will dig a tunnel to go under the obstacle and if it can’t dig a tunnel to go under the obstacle, it will try to gnaw a hole into the obstacle to get through it. An ant is unstoppable because it’s so focused on its mission and where its going that it doesn’t have time to be burdened by the circumstances».

«You should never waste a good failure, a good mistake, a good adversity», Fard says and adds «if I have to go through it anyway I’m gonna come out wiser, smarter, better, stronger than I was before and when you have that type of attitude, that’s the bornCEO mentality. No adversity goes wasted, there is always a silver lining, there is always something good that comes out of even a bad situation. If that’s not a source of joy I don’t know what is».

«If you can find joy in the midst of adversity, you can always find joy», Fard

It doesn’t matter what is happening around you or to you, because you know that it is happening TO you.

Let’s recall Fard’s 10 ways of creating joy:

Nr. 1 - Believe that you are loved unconditionally
Nr. 2 - Put your crown on
Nr. 3 - Practice personal development
Nr. 4 - Guard your mind
Nr. 5 - Set, plan and achieve goals that take you towards your vision
Nr. 6 - Discover and do what you were born to do
Nr. 7 - Make a positive impact in someone’s life
Nr. 8 - Enjoy the beauty of creation
Nr. 9 - Smile
Nr. 10 - Look for opportunity even in the midst of adversity

This conversation with Fard sparked so many things in me and I really like the seed in the midst of adversity. You wouldn’t plant a seed and dig a hole half an hour later to check if it already grew. It’s step by step. Like my dad, who is over eighty, when walking to our mountain cabin. He just goes step by step in his own time but he’s always the first that arrives. «Everything is working out for me», that is a mantra I tell myself often. And now I don’t only walk through the streets surrounded by my Golden Bubble, I’ll also be wearing a golden glittery shiny crown, I love that!  

I hope you enjoyed this podcast episode to the fullest! What are your ways of creating joy? Please tell me in the comments below. : )

Get in touch with Fard

Book a free strategy session with Fard:

Resources and people we talkes about

  • Napoleon Hill
  • Jim Rohn
  • Tony Robbins
  • Les Brown
  • Laurie Beth Jones
  • Big Tommy Burns
  • Dr. Myles Munroe
  • John C. Maxwell «The 21 Qualities of a Leader»

Golden Bubble Meditation
Free Joy Challenge

You can watch our conversation here:

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