I met Terri at a Brendon Burchard event a few years ago and it’s so awesome, that the technology allows us to connect like this again! Terri is such a wonderful person and you can feel and see that everything she says really comes from the bottom of her heart. Open yourself up for this thought provoking but still comfortably soothing conversation and fill your energy cup up to the fullest.
Terri is a Life & Business coach for lady entrepreneurs. «I want to help people to connect to their soul purpose here on earth», Terri says. One of her passions is to help people transform their mindset and their lifestyle to live a life of freedom.
«We only have one life and I want to live my life how I want», Terri
Terri wants to inspire people to do what they love and what brings them joy. Her mission and purpose is to inspire others to do what lights them up.
I ask Terri: How do you create JOY?
«I love laughing, I think laughing is medicine for the soul», Terri
Terri answers that she loves to dance and to listen to music. She also has a little cat and a dog that have become best friends and that brings her a lot of joy. «I find joy in everything, in all the small things», Terri says. «I live an attitude of gratitude, so I look for the good in everything».
«Find the silly or joyful in everything you look at and cherish all the moments you get to have with your loved ones», Terri adds.
I ask Terri how she can be so joyful in times like these?
«Focus on what you’re grateful for», Terri
Tony Robbins talks about that a lot. You can’t be sad and depressed and grateful at the same time. «It’s just going back to the smallest things», Terri says. Like «I have clean water» or «I have a running toilet». «That’s kind of a luxury that people take for granted».
«Shifting your focus to gratitude really shifts your vibration», Terri
«For me love is the essence of life, our whole point of being is to love, to be loved and to extend love», Terri
Abraham Hicks says: If you’re in a down place, hold a positive feeling for 17 seconds, that raises your vibration. When such down moments arise, Terri puts herself on the beach, listening to the waves crashing, feeling the breeze and the sunshine… If you can hold that space for 17 seconds it’ll help you get out of the down place. What Abraham Hicks also says is that you don’t want to go from down in the dumps to all of the sudden «this is the best day of my life». You start with: «I’m feeling down in the dumps, but I have a running toilet, I’ve been in a similar situation before and I got out of it and I’ll probably get out of it again. When I’m out of it I can grab a Starbucks coffee…» It’s those little incremental things being said that get you out of there.
I love Abraham Hicks too, when I do my make-up in the morning, I always listen to their videos on Youtube. I love that it’s so genuine and it’s so free, their teachings are open, and you can make it your own. I’ll put a link below where you can find more information about them.
«I think what you have to understand is that you’re always pushed towards a better direction, even when it seems like a failure, it’s really learning and growing. Knowing that is a really helpful tool for bringing joy and living out a happier life», Terri says.
What do you say, if people say that’s just daydreaming?
Terri says that she learned about Abraham Hicks from Bob Proctor, Lisa Nichols and the movie «The Secret». «We are the creators, I very much believe so», Terri adds. Everything takes time and when Terri questions herself about what she’s doing, she always goes back to «the knowing that my thoughts are creating my vibrational state of being that my body is in, that my vibrational being is going to create my actions and my behaviors and my habits and what gets attracted to me». «I think understanding and studying how your brain works, those kinds of principles, that’s so helpful».
Terri also talks about «the law of polarity». At all times there is good and bad and that is also creating our actions. You could look outside and admire the beautiful weather, or you could look outside and complain about why it’s so hot. «You can always shift».
«Although we have our five senses – see, hear, smell, taste & touch – what’s really unseen is even more powerful like when you get to visualize something and those vibrational frequencies that you get to live on, the love that you have, the happiness, all these things are unseen but they’re even more real».
Terri says that she would answer to somebody that questions such a view: «Think of a time where you manifested something or made something happen that seemed like it couldn’t be possible. This gives you a reference and more faith that it’s possible to happen again».
When Terri did her master’s degree in business, she told herself that she didn’t want an 8 to 5 job but do something that she loved instead. Although many people told her that that’s not possible, that she would be too young and without enough experience, she kept the faith and the vision and eventually doors started to open, and Terri found herself in what she had envisioned.
Abraham Hicks also says that you should be grateful for the gap that lies between you wanting something and that wish actually becoming reality. Otherwise you would have to be super careful what you think and wish for. : ) If you take care of yourself and your thoughts, doors just seem to open. People say that it’s unfair and that I’m so lucky but nope, I do a lot of work for my thinking to create space where the magic can happen.
Terri tells me that in the book «Everything is Figureoutable» from Marie Forleo, you’re asked you to track your thoughts for 7 days to find out what you think on a continuous basis. In the Mastermind group which Terri recently joined, one of the first things to do was this exercise. Terri says that a lot of the (mostly lady) entrepreneurs are really harsh with themselves. «You’re such an idiot, you shouldn’t have done that, you should have known better…» On the outside their not making offers because of their internal thoughts and lack of self-esteem. Terri says – and I’m so on the same page! - that you should be your own best friend. You would never tell your best friend «why did you do that, you’re so stupid», instead you would say «you’re trying and you’ll make it happen, just keep going, I believe in you!» See the difference?
The affirmations that you tell yourself everyday have a huge impact. «You’re powerful», «you’re getting great results from the people you work with», these are the things that Terri tells herself. «People will pick up your energy more than your actual work. Just stay in high vibe and pump your own self up. Our thoughts are so important», Terri says.
«And so powerful», I add. Only you are so mean to yourself so let’s just stop that and say something nice and encouraging!
Terri talks about Louise Hay who says: «Tell yourself every morning in the mirror «I love you, you’re enough and I approve of myself».
I love that and it’s something I do as well. If you can’t say «I love you» right away, start with something small like «you’re nice», that is such a good feeling! You’re with yourself 24/7 so why not have the best relationship possible!
Terri adds that forgiveness is also very important. If you’re holding onto a lot of guilt, shame and blame you won’t be able to love yourself. «Be easy on yourself, we’re all learning, we’re all human, and we’re not perfect».
«Forgive yourself for anything in the past and forgive everybody else that has hurt you in the past», Terri
Terri says that she read somewhere that it’s like holding hot coal that you want to throw at someone but you’re the one burning. In «A Course in Miracles», forgiveness is the foundation for inner peace, Terry says. «I really believe in the oneness». «Being nice to yourself, being nice to others, the others are doing the best they can, you never know what someone is going through».
«Forgiveness has been such a huge thing that helped bring me joy», Terri
I ask Terri whether she has a favorite forgiveness technique.
Terri says that she is currently doing a money course with Amanda Frances where the first step is to forgive yourself. If you’re for example afraid of standing on stages, ask yourself when was the first time that you didn’t feel safe to be visible. Maybe you realize that you’re mum scolded you for saying something wrong at a school play. Going back to that time, forgive that and see how it plays out in other areas as well, it’s always a pattern. You’re living life today but you’re living it from that six-year-old that was made fun of.
Terri tells me that she was bullied by her two stepsisters which plummeted her self-worth and self-value. «I really had to forgive them, knowing that they were doing the best that they could at that time». «It’s going to the time when it first happened and realizing that the story plays out over and over again in your life in patterns. There is always that first time when you didn’t feel safe to do something».
A buddha quote that I know and that matches what Terri says: If you hate somebody and you hold on to this hatred, it's like you drinking poison and hope that the other one dies.
Terri adds that it’s not about admitting that the things that happened were okay, you do the work of forgiving for your own sake so that you can move on and live a happy life.
The person who did something to you has to deal with it their own way. It’s not easy but it’s worth to deal with these memories.
Terri asks what brings ME joy. : )
«Being happy & joyful is an everyday game for me and also a decision», Ronja
It’s really also about the small things, I enjoy the weather, the beautiful light, being home with my girl… When I’m up in our small mountain cabin where there is no running water and no electricity (I love it! : )), coming home is like entering a luxury resort although we live in a pretty small apartment. It’s seeing things in perspective, like Terri mentioned before. What I struggle with is that I feel like it’s so easy for me to say «focus on the good», when others have really challenging circumstances. Although I believe from the bottom of my heart that it always makes you feel better just trying to do so.
Terri says that she has felt the same way too. «It’s just the principle of the smallest little steps». (If you find yourself in a depressive state where you can’t imagine getting out ever again, make sure to listen to the episode with Heather Robinson where we talk exactly about that and how you can do it! <3)
«For me it’s that feeling of I’m guided and I’m protected and loved by something bigger than this problem that I’m having. I think it’s good for everybody to have a spiritual foundation, not necessarily religious, just knowing that there’s something bigger than you that loves you and that created you for something good». Terri says that when she was younger and going through her depression, she felt really alone. «My dad was always working to give us a good life when all I wanted was just a hug from him and my mum was in rehab».
I ask Terri how she found her spirituality and that strong belief.
Terri recounts that when she was in an abusive relationship at college. After a friend asked her if she’d like to join, she went with her to church. «There was this band in the beginning and I really felt the music. There was this little boy, 4 or 5 and when I just started crying because of everything that was going on and because I felt really connected to everyone there and the energy was just so lovely, the little boy hugged my leg and it was the sweetest thing. That’s what started the foundation for me. I felt the energy and I was like «wow, I’m not alone in this» and the words they were saying really spoke to me. That was my first coming to spirituality». After that Terri studied the Christian religion and found out that there were many things she didn’t agree with, all the rules and the sin and the do’s and don’ts. «Now I say I’m more spiritual than religious».
Terri also tells me about an experience that she had during meditation. «I had this feeling come over me, it was just so expanding and all-knowing and so peaceful, and it was just like «all is well, we are connected». It was this beautiful, beautiful and loving presence and calmness, time was irrelevant. I feel like that was my experience of being in the presence of god. That sparked a huge fire in me. That’s the truth, it’s not even anything physical but if felt so real. That was my spiritual experience».
«My truth is infinite peace and love, oneness and being guided», Terri
For me that’s the art of life. Every day is game time and you have the choice. You can choose what to think, what to do. It’s so powerful, WE are so powerful, we are creating our own day and therefore our reality.
My mantra is «everything is working out for me», Abraham Hicks has a video with this mantra and watching it is like medicine for me.
Mindset work is on-going. If you want to be in a happy state you have to work on it with all the tricks you have and you like, don’t do things you don’t like to get happy, find out how you can tune into this awesome feeling.
«That’s important, find out what it is for you, for me it’s dancing, but not everybody likes to dance», Terry adds.
I ask Terri how she helps people find their passion when they don’t know what they want beside knowing that they want to change something? Because that’s always the first step.
That’s when you know you do something you love, that’s how you find your passion. And also: Trying out new things! «Do it, try it and if it’s not actually something you want, do something else but don’t be afraid to take the risk, keep trying until you really find what does make you happy and know that it’s okay to pivot and it’s okay to fail because it’s really no failure, you’re just learning». «So many people don’t try because they’re afraid they’re gonna fail or that they’re not good at it. Nobody is going to get it right the first time».
Terri recently started meditation and strongly recommends that too. «Be quiet and tune into the answers that come from within you. When you’re quiet and you let all those thoughts shut down, then you can tap into the wisdom that we all have inside us».
Sara Blakley, the inventor of Spanx says that her dad encouraged Sara and her brother every day to make mistakes. I played the violine and my mum was always like «now play it once more without mistakes…» This pressure of without mistake is so engrained with us.
«Either I fail and have a funny story to tell or it works out and I succeed», that's what Sara Blakeley says! So inspiring and encouraging! Let's think this way too!
Quitting is considered a failure too in our society. This influence of outside, of all these expectations of society and your parents and your surrounding… If you get aware of the expectations first and then figure out what YOU want, that’s a good approach.
«Changing your language will change your state of being and how you look at it too», Terri
Every day I’m grateful for the internet, when I was a kid, I had 30 pen pal’s and was running to the mailbox every day. Now I can be in touch with so many friends through Social Media, that international bond makes me so happy.
Terri recounts Einstein saying: The only questions we have to ask ourselves is: Do we live in a friendly universe. If your answer is yes, you will find all the friendly things, if you say no, you’re going to find the not so friendly things. It’s about what lens you use to look at the world.
The perspective, the focus, the thoughts, the languages are so powerful and important.
I ask Terri: When did you get aware of the «bad self-talk»?
«In 2018 I did this Bob Proctor program called «Thinking into Results», that’s when I think I really became aware of checking my thoughts. Our thoughts become our reality so I was like «what am I thinking?» and I really had to take care of my thoughts because what we’re thinking becomes true, even if you say «I’m overweighed», maybe there’s a cookie and you’ll eat it because you think that you’re overweighed anyway… or if you have a choice to go for a run or watch a tv show, if your self-image, what you think of yourself is that you’re not a healthy fit person you might not do the things a healthy fit person might do, because your thoughts are telling you that you’re not. I think that was probably when I had that big realization wake up in 2018».
To round up our talk, Terri tells her message to the world:
I love that! Abraham Hicks says «we’re so sorry that you take this life so serious, you’re just here to have fun and joy». Oh really?? It doesn’t have to be hard?? It’s like a permission to have a fun life. Maybe others are offended or triggered, but that’s not my problem. I can spread the word that you can design a fun life for yourself too.
This is where you can find Terri:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ladyentrepreneursociety/ & https://www.instagram.com/terriwade650/
Things & people we talked about:
Read my blog post about self care here.
Watch our conversation here: